


we are running so fast (and we never look back.)

by orphan_account



Series: Wandless Magic, or not. [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff, Getting Together, Honestly this is self indulgent, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned NCT Dream Ensemble, Rated T for swearing, Tags Are Hard, Zhong Chen Le-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-23 12:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chenle, who everyone claims to be fearless, might actually be a little afraid. Not of muggle things like scary movies or rollercoasters, but something deeper inside of him. But he doesn't think about it too much when he has friends who help him to just forget about it all. (Or maybe he's spending too much time thinking of his crush on the other house's seeker, who's also one of his close friends, to even care about other stuff. Whoops?)





	we are running so fast (and we never look back.)

**Author's Note:**

> title - for him by troye sivan.
> 
> the houses of the dreamies bc it gets confusing, i know.
> 
> chenle - slytherin  
> jeno - gryffindor  
> renjun - ravenclaw  
> jisung - ravenclaw  
> mark - gryffindor  
> jaemin - hufflepuff  
> hyuck - slytherin
> 
> also ! warning for weird time skips? i left some things like behind the scenes(oops) but i swear ill come back to it soon

Contrary to popular belief, Chenle is not a scaredy cat. He doesn't flinch when a jumpscare appears on the tv at movie nights, unlike Renjun, who screams at the top of his lungs. (not that he'd admit to it though.) He doesn't seem to be faced by rollercoasters, which shocks Jisung more than it should. And lastly, he never has nightmares, but that also comes to the fact he rarely ever remembers his dreams anyways. But he's not afraid of anything, really. He can be intimidated by failure and isolation but that's human and he doesn't like to dwell on those too much. 

He thinks most of his "bravery" comes from the fact he finds those things fun more than scary. He has always wondered about muggle things and scary movies are just entertaining if anything. He has seen much worse but thats just the perks of being the son of two of the most powerful aurors of their time. And rollercoasters aren't scary at all. for Merlin's sake, he's a _seeker_. How can he be scared of flying or falling at fast speeds? That'd be dumb. So yes, he isn't exactly brave. He's just not scared easily. He still likes to be called a little spawn of satan from his hyungs, though, so he can't complain about his reputation as fearless if he wants to keep that up.

See, he is not a gryffindor. Merlin help whoever thinks he'd wear red robes around like some kind of fool. (He internally apologizes to Jeno and Mark, but red is kind of an ugly color to begin.) But he's supposedly very brave for a snake _~~(ouch.)~~_ which, okay, is not like he has to be the perfect Slytherin. It's not like he was expecting to be part of the slytherin house when he got announced as one of them either. He thought the hat had made a stupid decision by not screaming "hufflepuff!" as soon as he had been judged by it( believe him, its as weird as it sounds) on his first year, but he has learned to see why he's stuck on the green side. The point is: he is a proud slytherin. Ambition and being witty runs through him like its a part of his persona, and whoever says he is anything but a slytherin can get Silencioed on the spot. He might be fearless, but that's not enough to put him with the lions, because his determination rivals faith by a long shot. 

Ever since he was a child, his parents told him life outside the mansion's walls was a dangerous one. That if he wanted to survive out there that the emotion to fear had to be abolished from his heart because fear would get in the way and he couldn't afford himself to be distracted when it comes to danger. And 6 year old Chenle could only nod in admiration, taking their advice like if those words were set on his stone of a heart. He always admired their selfless behaviour; the way they'd put themselves in danger to save everyone if it meant others wouldn't be afraid. And likewise, he was never scared. Not when his parents would go missing for days. Not when his mom or dad were watched by healers on their beds like they could break at any moment and people would give him a sad look, like they knew his parents better than him, like they knew he was scared(he wasn't.) he knew they were strong, powerful and they wouldn't be scared so he decided he also shouldn't be. Looking at his parents with a heart full of emotions he didn't know the name of, he decided to be like them too.

He was born to be an auror, a strong one at that. He'd make his parents proud. He'd get so powerful and he'd use that power to help others so they won't have to fear anymore, just like his parents did with him. His friends had laughed his ideas off when he first told them in his first year year("Chenle is such a cutie, wah! I wish I still had that look of determination in my eyes sometimes.") but they still decided to be supportive of him. At first, they were just oblivious idiots who thought the idea would leave him soon when he came to terms with the harsh reality that it is to be an auror. But it didn't. And he knows they worry, because they know how dangerous it is these days for aurors, for people like him, and he understands their feelings, he's seen them in the faces of the kids of the other aurors, but he won't let them be afraid. "Renjun-ge, 'sokay. I'm powerful, remember? nothing will harm me, I swear." 

It might sound childish, to strive for the best without a second doubt. Like he can't make a mistake one day and all of his life plans would just fall apart along with him simultaneously. But he can't just think of what ifs. So he just has to work hard on being strong enough that the what ifs stay like what ifs and not whens. 

* * *

Quidditch is fun and all. He enjoys the way his hair falls on his face with the pressure of the wind. He finds warm in the way his hands hold tight against the wood of his broom as he does spins in the air like the show-off he is. He enjoys winning matches because it not only makes him feel satisfied but it brings joy to his housemates. You can say the game itself is quite enjoyable with the adrenaline and all, that is until you're playing against the team that has your crush as their seeker and you have to face him without getting distracted. That is not as fun.

See, Chenle is good at what he does. He's fast and he's not scared of falling from his broom. People call him stupidly good because of his reckless behavior. They're not very secretly when it comes to admitting they all have bets about the day when his luck is going to run out and he will injure himself while trying to catch the golden snitch. He laughs it off, how will he ever fall when he's trained so much?

This, though, was pretty dang close to failure. The match was very bad for them, they were loosing 90 to 130 and Chenle was furious. His eyes kept on wandering around trying to find the damn snitch because at this point of the game, the only way to guarantee their win is for him to catch it. The thing is, he's only seen it once throughout the game while he swears Jeno has seen it thrice. And he knows this because he's kept stealing glances to the other like a fool. 

But he's fucked. Like, heads over heels for Jeno fucked. The older looks really good with his hair sticking to his forehead because of the sweat that falls from all the way down to his neck. His chest keeps on going up and down unevenly because of being short of breath and his adam's apple is more prominent than ever as hes sucking in air after everytime he bolts trying to catch the snitch and Chenle can't help but look. He damns his weak mind because merlin, this boy will be the death of him.

He knows he only has 5 minutes before the match is over and he can feel the other team's teasing glances looking at him as if saying "try to turn the tables over now" and _oh_ , it's on. Crush be damned. 

He looks over at Jeno, who's smirking too. He has no time to blush at the thought of Jeno smiling like that at _him_ because he catches a streak of gold through the corner of his eye and he smirks back. It's fucking on.

He feels air hit his face before he even notices he's sprinting over to the flying ball. Jeno, who was unaware of it until now, follows close behind but Chenle's faster. Not because his broom is any better, not because he's using gravity to his advantage but because he has to win and he won't let anything else become reality. He doesn't care if destiny or whatever says he has to loose, he has the willpower to win and he'll use it to make that happen.

It's a minute before the game ends when he catches the snitch between his hands and stops just before hitting someone over in the stands. He's catching his breath but he can hear the cheer coming from both the slytherins and ravenclaws(who had previously been crushed by the gryffindor.) all over the stadium. He feels a smile tug at his lips and bolts back to the center of the field where everyone else is screaming at him.

If at the end, when he's off the air and being hugged by all his teammates while being called 'their wildcard' as he decides to look over at the other team, specifcally at their seeker and give him a encouraging smile, its like no one seems to notice. 

* * *

That night he's together with Mark and Jisung who are both teasing him for his supposedly obviously whipped ass. Chenle has never related more to Renjun than right now. He is so close to snapping and using some kind of spell to make them dissapear because he can't deal with his obvious pining actitude of earlier when he's supposed to be studying for muggle studies right now. The only reason he asked the two idiots it's because they're the only muggles who agreed. He would rather learn from Donghyuck, but the slytherin had found it funny to lie about what 'phones' were and he had been the laugh of the day when he had confidently answered “an object people carry around for luck” during class. He doesn't believe the whole 'slytherins are the little shits of the castle' idea but Donghyuck might be an exception. 

"Dude, even _I_ noticed you pining from over the gryffindor stands. Like, you have it bad." Admitted Mark, which hurt because if someone was shit at reading social cues it was the older. So he sighs, while Jisung rubs his back while holding a laugh. "Listen, It's okay. He, unlike you, was actually doing his job so he probably didn't notice. Just act soon, man, or you might regret it" and oh how ironic that was. Mark, the coward of love, telling him, fearless Chenle, to act on his feelings. He wants to scream.

He might need those headphones things Jisung uses to ignore them sometimes because his head hurts and he knows he won't get anything done today judging by the grins on their faces.

* * *

Today is supposed to be an easy day for Chenle. There was no quidditch practice so that meant he had some time to hang out with all his friends and it'd be fun. He can already hear Haechan and Mark arguing about stupid sappy stuff and Renjun mumbling things like "fucking gross, go get y'alls boyfriends and spare the rest of us, goddamn." which would get Jaemin and Jeno to reprehind him for being bad mouthed and then, as if on cue, Jisung would frown beside him while saying, "I swear we live in a simulation that repeats itself." and some other muggle nonsense he has a hard time understanding, and oddly enough, he was so looking up to that this whole morning. Those moments felt comfortable, familiarity in every corner of every interaction and it made him feel so carefree.

But no, life was never easy for this oh-poor-slytherin because he found himself on a room he's never been in before with a laughing hufflepuff at his side and a ravenclaw that was trying to catch his own breath on the floor at his left. He doesn't really know these guys, but he's seen them around Lucas-ge enough times to think he can trust them enough to not cast a spell on them as of right now. (even if he's mad these two idiots are taking his precious time.)

The hufflepuff, he's taller than Chenle and has dark brown hair, smiles at him and Chenle thinks his smile is cute. Mark-hyung kind of cute. "Dude, i'm like super sorry to drag you into this." He says, an accent lingering in his words. The dude, he notices, doesn't seem older than Lucas-ge, so he might as well be a 7th year. To his side, the ravenclaw mumbles something like 'Guess i'll just die, then' as he stands up from the floor. The hufflepuff eyes go wide, “Oh Merlin! Ge, you ok?" he asks to the other teen, evidently worried, to which the gryffindor only responds to with a nod before moving his gaze over to him.

The ravenclaw looks at him in the eye, which makes Chenle notice his face and _merlin_ he's handsome. His eyebrows stand out a lot, giving a contrast to his soft lips and eyes and Chenle might be staring too much because soon the other coughs and mutters a "Sorry, I'm Dejun. 7th year. And this dumbass of a friend is Yangyang, 6th year. I know you're, like, Lucas' friend but he has many so I don't have an idea of what your name is." He admits shyly.

Chenle shakes his hand trying to process everything. So clearly, this hufflepuff dude was Yangyang or the kid Renjun is always ranting about because he is, and he quotes, 'an annoying dipshit, i tell him to let me study in peace in the library and he always shakes his head like a fucking child and whispers to me saying ‘No talking in the library. Whispers only’ and will only leave me alone until i whisper-cuss him out’ and honestly? he has to thank this guy for bothering the older when he himself can't. "Uhm, Chenle Zhong. 5th year.” 

The other two seem to be silent for a second before the hufflepuff says dramatically, "Oh Merlin! we're screwed. Totally screwed. Dejun! I'm not ready to die! what are we gon—" he is interrupted from his rambling by the other putting a hand over his mouth rapidly.

"Shut up. just, shut up. We can– EW! what the fuck? did you just lick me?!” the hufflepuff tries to get away from him, scared. Chenle stares at the scene that happens right in front of him, confused. He starts to wonder what the hell these two were talking about when he looks at the clock in the back of the room and sees the time. Shit. He's late.

"Uhm, i'm going to go now... Bye!" He says, trying to aim for the door and escape as fast as he can but getting stopped by the older's grip on his arm. _So close_.

"I'm sorry, uh, Chenle. But see, we need your help—" 

Yangyang pushes Dejun's hands from the slytherin, in disbelief. "Do you have a death wish?! Kun-ge will kill us if he knows about this! We can get, uh, someone else but not Zhong Chenle!" and merlin, what the fuck? how do these two idiots know Kun-ge. No, wait, what even do these two idiots want from him anyways?

"I, uh, I'm lost? Why did y'all like kidnap me?"

The hufflepuff looks troubled, stealing glances at his companion who just shrughs. "Well, you see... We need someone that plays in the slytherin quidditch team to help us get into their locker room. Wait! Don't look at me like that! We're not perverts I swear!" He defends, "but... well..."

The other one chuckles, walking closer. "This guy has a crush on one of the runners of your team. Xukun. And he wants to leave him a surprise on his locker to ask him out and that's where you come in handy. We know slytherin cancelled their practice today and we wanted to use this opportunity to get this fuckmunch a date." And there it was. What the fuck.

Cai Xukun is a 7th year, even though he acts like a 5th year because of his foolishness. He's competitive, and hates losing. He's never really talked to the guy but he seems to be distant to others from his house. The most he's talked to him is in practice while going over techniques and stuff, but he barely says hi to him outside of that. He doesn't understand how someone like Yangyang could like him, but whatever, not like he wants to hear his cheesy love story anyways.

He contemplates the idea for longer than he'd liked to admit. Xukun does seem a little bit too lonely, always hanging out with two other couples. A fifth wheeler if you'd ask him. But he also is reminded that today was supposed to be a fun day with his idiotic friends. He wants to say no. Wants to run out of that room and just completely ignore this dude's problem but he can't. Merlin damn his will to help others. "oh my- okay, I'll do it. But we better be fast because I have places to go."

The younger of the other two beams and hugs him like he just saved his life. The ravenclaw just chuckles and helps pull him away. "Thank you! thank you! Dude, you're the best. You're now third place on my list of people I appreciate!" He says after giving him a place to breath, "don't tell Injun, though, he'd get jealous!"

He laughs more at the fact that he can hear Renjun saying something along the lines of ‘bitch, see if i care' inside his head than at the fact the other called Renjun 'Injun' like the other wasn't some kind of souless asshole. But if Yangyang wanted to die at the hands of the ravenclaw, he wouldn't stop him.

* * *

Getting inside the Slytherin locker rooms is fairly easy, too easy. But he guesses no one suspects anything from top-student-and-seeker-chenle--son-of-the-powerful-aurors-zhong. He gets questioned once, by one of the guys of his team, saying stuff like 'you know we dont have practice today, right?' and he can't believe he gets away with saying "yeah, but I forgot some notes on the locker room so I'm heading there" but whatever, luck is on his side and he won't jinx it.

They take about 8 minutes pulling their stunt. They open the locker door only to place some type of letter in a yellow envelope ( _Cause of course_.) and leave some chocolates along with green some paper hearts. And even after closing it, Yangyang leaves a paper note in the front of the door saying ‘hope you like it!' with a heart and if he wasn't used to Mark's and Lucas' cheesy shit he feels like he'd be vomiting.

* * *

After getting thanked about a hundred times and given a chocolate, he bolts the other way to the green rooms and prays to god the others wont question him too much about his tardiness because he really doesn't want to admit he, a slytherin, helped two strangers pull a love confession. But, like anything else, it doesn't go his way and he gets questioned as if he came in covered in blood the second they see him burst through the door.

"I told you guys! I just had to help Mr. Seo with some stuff because posions class was a mess and I didnt notice the time!" He claims. He knows Renjun and Jisung don't believe him, wow great friendship, absolutely zero trust in this house. But he has fooled Jaemin and Mark into feeling guilty for questioning him so the others cant be mean to him about it without upsetting their boyfriends. Idiots.

"Can we please do this later? I wanna beat y'alls asses on smash since this morning." Mark whines from the other side of the room. Chenle is bad with muggle things, this is the biggest reason he's always asking Jisung and Mark for help with Muggle Studies, but he knows what Smash is from their countless sleepovers they have had in the summer. And he, admittedly, sucks ass. 

It's stupid. It's a combat based game, where each combination of buttons give a different attack. He hates it because the others never play fair. Jisung, the little shit, always spams the same offensive attack with his Pikachu character and he can't for the love of Merlin listen to "Piiikachu!" more than three rounds before he makes him change into something else. Then there's Renjun who always evades fighting and only attacks when he's got the smash ball's power like some kinda coward and fuck him for being good at always getting that damn ball. Hyuck is worse. He uses kirby and spends about 70% of his time flying so he's hardly reachable and only comes down when the others decide to gang up on someone. Then it's Jeno and Mark that, because of gryffindor rules he assumes, are the ones who are always ganging up on others and fighting without defending themselves at all but still manage to not lose first (Cheaters! Chenle swears they cheat!) and Then you have Jaemin, the hufflepuff who doesn't know better than to just press buttons randomly and it sometimes work in his favor and sometimes he looses not even three minutes in the match. And where does Chenle lay? He's always analyzing the situation, trying to evade combat with the gryffindors because two on one is just dirty. Jisung is always somewhere in the middle being annoying and he hates fighting him but he has to because spamming annoys the fuck outta him and it happens fast. He's also trying to evade Renjun whenever he uses that shitty ass magic powers and he also avoiss Hyuck because he's always fighting him without any trace of mercybecause 'I'm the only slytherin with rights in this house!' or some bullshit excuse. He's not proud of this, really, but he goes for Jaemin sometimes because well.. he's easier to kill. But he doesn't really get to win a lot, because isn't everyone else annoying and good at playing dirty and it makes him to be competitive every time.

He thinks being the only non-muggle slytherin from his friend group that he'd be the one cheating, or finding ways to get his win certified despite being at a disadvantage but it's so hard when your friends are more snakes than you are. How is Renjun a ravenclaw? He has venom on his teeth, on his stares and on his tongue. If he didn't know him well, he'd think the sorting hat had made a mistake.

"Can we... I don't know? like... do something else." Chenle suggests. He is kind of tired of playing videogames with Jisung. He's been doing it a lot lately. Like a lot. Like, losing sleep over playing until 3am kinda lot. It's not like Chenle for him to waste his night sleep over muggle games, but Jisung has way too many breakdowns over his boyfriend that end on Chenle comforting him by playing on his Switch in the common rooms.

"Well, it's already late. We might as well watch a movie or something instead." Suggests Mark, and surprisingly, everyone agrees in watching a scary movie this time.

Chenle smiles as he settles in the floor, a bowl of popcorn on his legs. He doesn't flinch at the movies (Go figure.) but he does tense his shoulders when Jeno sits down beside him, arms touching. His mind goes back to the teasing of his friend the past fewdays because of that mach and he feels trapped. His mind is telling him not to worry, that they're only sharing popcorn like the friends they are. Totally fine and platonic. Just took him by surprise. It's not like Renjun is smiling at him as if he knows about his chinese rants about Jeno in the middle of transfigurations. Nope. He was just surprised.

But he's not. He's gay panicking, like Jisung always says, and he worries. It's in moments like this that he thinks that he'd rather be afraid of the movie instead of being scared of loosing his cool. Does faith have a thing against slytherins? Like, is that a thing? because it might as well be with how his days are going lately.

One look over the gryffindor at his side, who winks at him— _wait_. Chenle blinks three times in a row, trying to comprehend if he'd been imagining things because Jeno didn't just wink at him like nothing. Jeno, the oblivious idiot, did not do that. He's just tired. There's no other possible explanation, he reasons as he settles down. 

He doesn't even remember what the movie was about, and he doesn't know how he got to the slytherin dorm rooms but he can clearly remember Jeno and only Jeno beside him. Faith might not hate slytherins but it might despise him.

* * *

The next time he sees Yangyang is at lunch. He's sitting at the hufflepuff table with Jaemin and Jisung when his new friend(can he even call him that?) slides over and starts stealing his fries. Chenle can't believe this. Yangyang, the guy he risked getting thrown out of the quidditch team for, is stealing his food. And if he hides his shock well, he knows his friends aren't because they're looking at the newest addition to the group as if he's some kind of boggart. "Uh, hi Yangyang-ge."

The other hums, "You know what, dude? He said no. But thats okay! His blonde hair made him seem kinda like an american twink anyway." He can hear Jisung choke on his milk over the table, but his eyes are fixated on the hufflepuff who seems to be occupied eating his fries. "Well, See ya' I gotta go with Dejun! Tell Injun hi for me will ya?" He says, before leaving as fast as he came. Carefree and odd, Chenle concludes. And if he didn't know better he'd say he's what every hufflepuff seems to act like. But he's not dumb, he knows Yangyang is just an idiot that just seems to fit an exaggeration of hufflepuff qualities.

"And how are you friends with Yangyang?!" Wow, interrogative much? He looks up to find that Jaemin's body is across the table. His hands gripping at the sides of the wood structure, helping him from falling on top of it. Chenle only notices Jaemin's face is close to his when he stops looking at the other who dissapeared through the halls. 

"Uhm... I don't know. I just helped him with one of his crushes? It's a long story, and I have to go. I promised Jeno I'd help him with defense against the dark magics this afternoon." He says, evading any further questioning.

Even as he leaves, he can hear Jisung yell "Go get 'em, tiger!" and he books it out of the cafeteria so they can't notice the faint blush across his face. Little fucker.

* * *

Jeno is smart. Pretty smart. Chenle would feel rivaled by him if Jeno wouldn't ask him for help everyday, so in fact Chenle is the one who helps him be smarter. He thinks that's okay and fair. If someone is his competition at least they might as well be cute like him.

Is also no surprise that Chenle is whipped. Like he can't ever say no to the gryffindor bastard. He'd rather die in the hands of a three headed dragon than make him upset. And it's no biggie, you know, he just has to keep things in control and remind himself that these things aren't study dates. They're just study partners and he's a great friend, and that's the sole reason for him throwing away everything to make time for him. Well, he doesn't really believe that himself but Jeno is oblivious so it's believable to some extent. 

But this? this has to be a test. Like, somewhere in these halls, merlin found him and said "we'll see how strong this guy is" and fucking threw the worse scenario ever at him. He stops dead on his tracks. Jeno is crying when he gets there. He can see the tears even if he tries to hide his face between his robes. And Chenle does a double take on what to do because this shouldn't be happening. It was supposed to be a normal study session. So he looks away from Jeno, trying to see what had caused the outburst, and gets surprised when he notices fire. 

Yeah. Fucking fire. He doesn't panic, though. He doesn't even notice how cold it is in the room even though there's a fire growing inside of it when he sprints over to Jeno's side and tries to take him out of the room, or at least get him as far away from the flames as he can. He's way too close to him with lets him be ble to see Jeno's muscles shaking and his nose is red and runny and Chenle just himself feels in the verge of tears because he can't see others cry without following their actions. Fuck.

He tries to comfort him, cursing himself because he knows he sucks at this, but he has to. He can't help him and stop the fire if he's like this. He's telling him not to be scared and that he's there now when Jeno just shakes his head, hiding it on his chest and mumbles the word "Boggart" and _oh_. Realization hits him like a truck and he feels stupid because it's not even warm and there's a "fire" in front of him. Yeah, seems logical.

Chenle raises his wand with his left hand, while the right one holds Jeno close and says. "Riddikulus!" while thinking of the funniest thing he can at the moment. He lets a disappointed sigh when the fire transforms itself into Jisung's cat with a stupid minion hat. He hated that hat and he had been vocal about it this whole morning. He quickly glances at the boy between his arm and his face softens. He has never seen Jeno this scared before, and it fills his chest with something he doesn't yet know how to identify. "Hyung, we're okay. You're okay. I'm here. It's gone now. You're safe." The words esccape his lips softly, but loudly enough for Jeno to hear through his hiccups.

"I hate it" he mumbles. "I-I can't do it. I'm such a coward." He's still holding onto Chenle's robes for dear life and it makes him wonder whar the past holds for Jeno to react in such way. He is curious, because even though fire can be scary he thinks it shouldn't make someone feel this helpless.

Despite wanting to comfort him at the moment, he doesn't say anything. He can't, not when the other won't listen to him. He plays with his hair, trying to calm him down when the other continues. "I know I can't help it. Fire has taken so many things away from me a-and It's stupid to fear it now but- I just.." Chenle lets him ramble. Merlin knows he needs to get it out of his system.

"It's- I-I'm a gryffindor! I'm supposed to be brave! But I can't even stand fake fire. I'm so pathetic.." Jeno says and it hurts. Because Chenle was out there, anxiously worrying about not being a dumbass and fucking their friendship when Jeno is out here trying to overcome some kind of trauma. It hurts because Jeno is so much braver than what he is right now and he doesn't know it. Life is so unfair.

"Jeno-hyung, you... you're not a coward. Yeah, you're scared! and that's okay. Being brave is to learn to stand your ground even if you're scared. That's why you're brave. You're trying your best against the thing that terrifies you! That's, like, admirable. You know? and it's okay if you don't overcome it in a day or a week! or a month, even! the fact you're trying at all makes you braver than lots of the people on this school. Even me." Soon after the words get through, he can hear Jeno's breathing become normal, his heartbeat resonating through the classroom's walls like some kind of beat and he feels himself relaxing. His words, even though he had chosen them poorly, still carried some calmness across to the older teen.

"I don't know if I'll ever get there." the voice is almost like a whisper, but in the silent room it sounds too loud.

"You won't know until you try" He sees in Jeno a sincere little smile form between his lips when he says it, and in that moment Chenle learns that fear doesn't make you weak. Because Jeno is anything but weak but he's still afraid. And he wonders if deep down, on the back of his mind, if he's afraid of something too and if he's strong enough to go against it like Jeno is.

He has a feeling that he might not be.

* * *

Yangyang comes over way too much. Like, not at his dorm room or anything, but he's always waiting for him outside of his muggle studies class and lets him know of two things. Now he knows way too much about how much Renjun seems to hate the guy and about Yangyang's crushes. He swears the guy has low standards because he's always talking about someone new that catches his eye almost every week. Not that he'd judge, but the dude needs some kind of boyfriend because, merlin, he's lonely.

He actually likes the company. Not because he particually enjoys listening to the other's rambling but because the other also listens to him talking about how much he hates muggle studies and how much he likes Jeno. They fall into routine pretty fast and Chenle finds himself always saving a cookie to give the other on their walks after class, while they share some coffee that would be too sweet for him if he didn't need the sugar to keep him energized through the day. 

He doesn't know why his group of friends find this odd. Yes, he's made a new friend and he sometimes hangs out with him in the cafeteria along with Dejun, Lucas and some other gryffindor, who's name he still doesn't remember, but it's not like he's leaving his old group for this one. But his friends are completely sure he's a traitor and start giving him the silence treatment and he wants to punch all of them by the end of the third day.

"Okay. Y'all been doing this for far too long now. Why are you guys so upset over me making friends? They're not you guys, I wouldn't want to replace any of you anyway. You guys know too much deep shit of me, that'd be stupid." He says before getting pushed of his chair by Renjun. He lets a groan leave his mouth to let them know he's mad because great now his ass would hurt all afternoon but he guessed this meant they were all okay again so he didn't complain that much.

You'd think that'd be the end of it. They would tease him for falling and would say some other shit and everything would be like always but, well, they did— with one exception. Jeno was dead silent. He seemed rather upset and Chenle probably wouldn't of noticed if his thoughts didn't revolve over analyzing the older's every other feature. So with him staring at him a lot the quietness of the other was just obvious enough that it felt like a slap to the face. Jeno was upset at him and that oddly hurt. 

When they all decided to leave the library, he made sure to keep Jeno with him by tugging at his sleeve. The older still didn't look at him in the eye and Chenle was panicking because he fucked up and he didn't know how or when he did but he made it his goal to fix it before it became worse.

"Look, hyung I- uhh I don't know what I did but I know you're upset and I just want to know why" He kicks himself for sounding so unconfident. He was trying to fix this, not sound like he was trying to play the victim.

It was way too awkward, because the other didn't respond and this was just unusual for both of them. Talking was as familiar to them as breathing was and being this tense around each other just made it all feel weird and uncomfortable. 

"Do you like him?" It takes him by surprise. And no, it's not the question itself. It's the cold and sharp tone that the words carry that cuts him deeply.

With a confused gaze, Chenle clears his truth and says. "You taking 'bout Yangyang-ge? I- uh, no. He's just my friend, I swear. He's way too bubbly for me, I'd die." He doesn't know why he's even justifying why he does not like the hufflepuff, like just a look at him clearly tells enough, but he does anyway. He feels like he should and his gut never has done him wrong.

The other nods, and finally meets his eyes. "Good." he says before smiling to him and Chenle feels like he's missing out on something because what does fucking 'good' mean here? Jeno needs to understand that even if Chenle is smart, he's an idiot at reading others. "Because I want you to come to hogsmade with me this weekend, if you'd like that."

Please don't be a dream. Please, Donghyuck, don't wake me up if it is. I want to live this through. "Yes! uhm, yes, I'd like that.

* * *

Hogsmade is fun and all but he's panicking. Not because his shoes are wet from spillen beverages. Not because he was earlier approached by a shady looking man who knew his name and told him to be careful. Not because he had been told he'd been chosen for the triwizard tournament a day before. It was the hand that held his, bringing warmth to his hearth as if some kind of wandless magic. 

They're walking to a store he's never been to before. There are various paintings that move in a sequence and he can't help but stare. He feels Jeno squeeze his hand and it makes him look up at his face. A smile decorates his beautiful sun-kissed skin and he stares at it like a fool. _whipped._

Jeno guides him to the back, where a man in his late 60's is sitting, holding an empty canvas. He frowns, because this side of the store is only a white background with canvases like the one on the man's hold spread along the wooden floor. Jeno greets the older man with a bow and the man does the same. "Ah, Jeno-yah! Just in time."

Jeno doesn't let go of his hand ever. Not when they're talking about stuff Chenle isn't paying attention to because he's busy looking at the eyes of the gryffindor who holds the universe in his gaze. The other notices and grins at him, to which he blushes deeply. Can he be more obvious? Can Jeno be more of a tease? He doesn't want to know, though, because like everything he already feels that the answer is 'yes.'

They end up looking at the man from the white wall on front. The man nods and looks up to his canvas. The brush lays on his hand as he smiles at both of them before saying something like, "Whenever you're ready." and Chenle is confused because what is he supposed to be ready for? is he— _oh_.

Jeno smiles at him and reaches for his cheek before quickly pressing his lips against his. Chenle blushes, at loss for words and thinks he might br as red asthe color of Jeno's robes. He's about to open his mouth to question what happened when the voice of the older man cuts his train of thought. “Here we go! This is for the younger lad” and gives him the what appears to be a now moving canvas. He doesn't have to look down to know that it's a painting of the moment of when he got his first kiss. The drawing is black and white lines and it's only outlined and he wants to cry because this is so pretty and thoughtful and he can't help himself but give Jeno another kiss.

That night he goes to his room with his heart on his hand, a painting on the other and a smile on his face. If Donghyuck noticed this change of his, he keeps quiet. He thanks him because it was the best day of his life and he doesn't want anything ruining it. He doesn't want to deal with Hyuck's teasing when he can atill feel the lingering taste of cinnamon on his lips.

* * *

Two nights before the triwizard event Jeno and Chenle are at their so called "study dates." and it pretty much went worse than he'd think it could go.

Unlike the first time with the boggart, Jeno has grown to not panic around the fires. Of course, he's still afraid but he won't let himself become helpless at the sight of them now. He's still lacking at the fact that he can't cast a ridikuluss just yet, but he thinks he's getting there. He just needs to think of that something extremely funny without getting distracted by the thoughts of fire suffocating him.

But tonight, when he opens the box, the thing that appears are not growing yellow and orange flames. No, that was something Chenle could handle, but the thing that comes out he, in fact, cannot. He feels vulnerable, like a mirror was just placed there in front of him to mock him. In front of him stands himself, Zhong Chenle, with eyes that are lifeless and empty.

Jeno tugs at his sleeve, because he's not afraid of Chenle so he must be pretty damn confused by seeing the other's personification in front of him. "Chenle I think there's something wrong.."

The boggart smiles at the gryffindor wickedly and laughs. Chenle stays there, frozen. Hearing himself laugh like that makes his chest hurt. He wants to throw up because the person in front of him is a version of him he's thought about a lot and he hates him.

"What? Scared? Chenle... you're scared of me? Of... yourself?" He dares to laugh at his face. "That's Weak. You promised to not be scared. To be the best. But you aren't and you know it deep down, don't you, Chenle? You think you're the best, really? Come on and prove it! Show me you're not afraid of something as stupid as me!" The words are spit out with such evil and he finds himself intimidated.

He can see Jeno tense at the words of the other him. Chenle feels sick. Does his voice always sound this twisted or is this other him just that threatening? "Uh, Chenle- I- we should-"

"Don't. Can't you see the shitstain's afraid? Of what? Of becoming this? Reality check, this is who you are. Stop being delusional. You're what? Playing in the tournament soon? Hah! You're just going to embarras yourself and become the laugh of the whole school." His other self is closer but. He. Can't. Move. He hates this. He hates the fact that he's listening to this bullcrap just because deep inside his heart theres a layer of insecurity that just tells him that this might be true. “Come on. Prove to yourself your worth. Meet the expectations. Or not. You're probably good at only being a dis-"

"Ridikkulus!" And like that, like the soft voice of bravery cutting through self-doubt, the other him transform itself into a broomstick with googly eyes. Chenle feels himself breathe again and notices his eyes are watery when the other hugs him with so much care.

And Chenle would like to say he didn't cry. That the spell had been casted by him and that he'd proven his biggest fear wrong but he couldn't. So when the tears rolled from his cheeks and he felt himself blush from embarrasment he lets an apology escape his lips.

"No. look at me, Lele." The brunette says, firmly. And merlin knows Chenle can never say no to him. "What do you always tell me when I cry because of my fear?"

Chenle cries harder. His insides are burning with shame and regret. But he manages to say "Being afraid is human. Getting through it makes you stronger." and he can feels the others smile on his forehead as he presses kisses into it.

"And what are you?" _Soft_.

"Human."

"And we'll get through this." _Lovely_.

"Because we're s-stronger" he smiles, wiping the tears away. His heart is pounding and his head is spinning but the smell of cinnamom that his boyfriend carries is enough to make him feel safe and okay. Yeah, he is.

"And you're going to fucking ace that tournament, baby, i know you will." The gryffindor says, holding his hands and looking at him with a smile that only screams love and Chenle has never felt more lucky.

He can hear the other him at a distance, far away in his head screaming at him the same words he had said before. But he knows that it's all just stupid nonsense because when he has people like Jeno with him he knows he won't let himself become that. Because he is Zhong Chenle who's scared of nothing, and is learning to be brave again. “Hell yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is a MESS. i'm sorry. i haven't uhhh like wrote in years so this shit was kind of like for me to come back into this slowly. 
> 
> my english sucks so comments are always welcome !! tell me what i can improve or if i wrote something weird bc ive never read harry potter in english (yikes.)
> 
> thanks to paty my beta i wuv her shes helped me lots !!
> 
> scream at me about boom and the dreamies on twt at @chenl3_3


End file.
